My Rules Suck

So, I had date #2 with the Port Prince. PP called on Wednesday and asked if I would like to go out again. I said yes (I have a 3-date rule, because I know it takes me a bit to warm up to people). Now, I generally take a very honest, almost too honest approach to dating-I tell people I am a homebody, I see no reason to lie and tell men that I'm "spontaneous and always looking for an adventure." This was clearly something PP was intrigued by, as he said "I know it wouldn't be your first choice, but I would like to take you bowling at (club in the city that has bowling)." And he seemed to almost be mocking my homebody-ness with the humor he seemed to find in "making me" go bowling. I was honest that it wasn't something I would choose, but I would be a good sport and go. I also questioned whether or not the city was a good idea on a night we were supposed to get a snow storm. He says he has 4-wheel drive, we'd be all set.

He shows up in his non-4WD car because he'd prefer to take the shit box into the city. We walk 10 minutes in a snow storm, at previously determined destination. Now this entire drive in he's talking about how he didn't think I was going to go and he is going to make sure I have fun (aka I totally don't want to date a homebody, so I'm going to force you to do shit you don't want to do). Now, I'm not a total party pooper-I would enjoy bowling in a group, or with my friends from work etc. However, not for a date and not at a place that has a club atmosphere. So...long part of the story short-PP can't get in, he has boots on and there is a dress code. He has a short meltdown (red flag) and then asks where I want to go. I choose a bar that I know and love around the corner.

I must say, he is talkative, outgoing and and nice, for the most part. However, some highlights of the conversation are as follows (I can't possibly list them all):

None of his friends are in happy marriages, they all forfeited their balls.

He thinks women who won't date a man based on height, education level, intellect, job or income are shallow and stupid (Meanwhile, he would never date a woman with children)

He whispered the word "gay" while telling me he has no problem with homosexuality.

He asked numerous questions about my ex, again.

He asked "what would you do if your ex called...well what if you didn't know it was him and accidentally answered."

He questioned whether or not I really want to pursue a doctoral degree, as I would have to put my life on hold.

And then...on the way home two shining moments:

Well, if you had said you wanted to stay at your place and rent a movie, we wouldn't have had to go into the city for bowling

And had touched my leg twice, both times it felt gross.

So friends, now I'm in a pickle. I have that 3-date rule and while I make it sound awful, it wasn't horrendous, it's just evident we are not a good match. Ugh, I hate my rules and I hate being a rule follower. He has left the planning of a 3rd date, up to me. I think I'm going to force him to see a chick flick.

XX NB

Back in the Game

Wow. It's been awhile. I tried to think of a creative way to tell you all where I've been for the last 2 months...Suffice it to say, it was a combination of a U-turn and a strike while trying to recover from said U-turn. The strike is officially over and I went on a real date over the weekend. My first real date since March.

Details: We met on match.com, he has a job, owns a house, has a car, is attractive and his emails were hilarious. The majority of the date went well. He was friendly, talkative and their were no awkward silences, which is always a plus. However, about 3 hours in he started asking a lot of questions about my most recent relationship. I tried to keep it vague: We broke up a year and a half ago, together on and off for 5 years, he's not in my life for a reason, blah blah blah. However, he kept asking questions about it and frankly I got so fed up I finally thought to myself "Fuck it, I'm just going to answer the damn questions and stop being avoidant." So I told him a good portion of the Jerry Springer relationship I was in.

Now, I know talking about exes is gererally a no-no on a first date, but at this point I'm annoyed that he kept asking and knew he would keep going until he would understand why I just didn't want to talk about it. I also have a certain level of understanding that it is a very crazy story and people are generally intrigued by it, so whatever...I told him. Upon hearing the story his response was: "Wow. Well now you make sense to me, I thought you were hard to read...I should probably tell you about my last relationship." Surprisingly enough, he says he's interested in going out again, so I guess the Jerry Springer story didn't freak him out too much. And while the last hour was torture, I am willing to see him again.

Then we come to all of the underlying issues that keep me from dating in the first place. Right now, my head is kind of spinning with the following:
Do I really have the time and energy for a relationship?
What if he gets to know me and hates me?
I am not "smitten" by him, shouldn't I be? (I have movies and television to thank for that one)
I hate getting to know people, I just want the comfort of already knowing someone.

So that's my story...we'll see what happens.

Have a mentioned my ovaries and uterus having been screaming at me to do something about my love life??

xx NB