Will Ditch When Provoked

Two Saturdays ago I was arriving home a shade late from a birthday party for a friend's daughter. I had a first date with a new guy I'd been introduced to via the interwebs, and I was looking forward to it since our e-mail exchange had been pretty fun and he seemed like someone I would get along with. I was feeling a little apprehensive, though, when I texted him to say I might be a few minutes late meeting him and his reply was:

"You're a woman. Fifteen minutes late is five minutes early to you anyway."

*blink, blink* Oh REALLY?

I didn't like the tone of that at all, but I let it slide because I hadn't met him yet, and texting isn't exactly the best medium for conveying nuance and subtlety. And we ended up having a nice time, even though by the end of the date I was in the throes of a full-on head cold. I got a nice message from him a couple days later, inquiring about how I was feeling. So when I talked to him again Thursday, I was interested in seeing when we could get together again.

When we spoke Thursday, he invited me to meet him and some of his friends later that night. I declined, since I had dinner plans and I wasn't quite over my cold, and since I already had plans to go out the next night and wanted to conserve my energy. At first, when I got a couple of texts during the evening, I thought it was cute. You know, stuff like, "Too bad you're not here, they're giving out free beers to girls with your name!" But after a few I got kind of tired of it. So, I said thanks, but I really feel like I should get a good night's sleep. And that was where it got sort of interesting:

Him: Fine, you win.
Me: Since when is someone winning? I'm just not up for it tonight. I'll be out tomorrow night if you and your friends feel like meeting up for a bit. (And here I named the bar we planned to go to.)
Him: I'll tell you where you can find me.
Me: Oh? Because I thought I just told you where you could find me.
Him: That was tonight. Tomorrow you can track me down.

And that was when I had to put my phone down and walk away from it for a few minutes, because that little exchange pissed me off. I mean, really? So after I cooled off I replied and said I hoped he had a nice night. And he came back with some joke about me being cold and then said he'd see me tomorrow. And I was hoping not.

When he asked me about my plans for the evening Friday, I consulted the Queen for advice. She said I should tell him where we'd be but make it clear that he AND HIS FRIENDS were welcome to meet up with us. And so I did. But when they came to the bar we were at, it was...awkward. He hung out over at the bar and didn't come over to our table. He texted me to tell me to come to the bar and see him (which I did only when I needed to visit the restroom). He kept pressing my friends to find out "who was in charge" and where we'd be going next. He made fun of my outfit. I was not pleased.

See, I don't think he was actually intending to be rude. I think his idea of funny involves provoking people, and trying to see if he can get them to feel a little uncomfortable. And if he was someone I already knew, I might find that kind of funny. But in this situation, it just made me feel like I wanted to get the hell out.

So, when my friends decided to go, I went with them, after telling him that I wasn't comfortable staying out alone with him and his friends (because frankly, me plus five guys I don't know? Bad idea!). And his incredibly mature response? "OK, well have a good night, I GUESS." And then when I was on my way home, I got ANOTHER text. "What just happened?"

Well, you proved yourself to be kind of a creep and I ditched you, actually.