Yawn.

I had such high hopes for my date on Friday. Not that it was going to be amazing, but that it would at least be interesting. You know? Like, even if we didn't click, maybe I'd get a good story out of it.

But alas, it was not to be. It was...boring. He was very polite. He's attractive, and certainly smart. But the conversation just didn't flow. His jokes just fell flat. No spark. Just...none.

As a "get-back-on-the-horse" date, I'm glad it was with someone who was nice. But it did make me rather nostalgic for all of the truly great first dates I've had, where you leave wanting more.

Even though the date isn't that great of a story, I can offer this gem I found in the ol' inbox that very same night:

"You are stunning, radiant, and sexy. I'm ____ and I approve this message."

That's Ms. Fat-Ass, to you

In the last week, or so, I have received the following two emails on an online dating website:

"You should say fat"

"You need to quit deep fried twinkyes [sic]"

I did NOT respond to either, but holy hell did I want to. What the fuck (excuse me...) is wrong with these people? Let me also say, I am fully aware of what my body looks like. My body type is very much for some and very much not for others. I have tits. I have an ass (excuse me, again). In the grand scheme of things do I honestly give a rat's ass what these two nitwits, who can't string a proper sentence together or post a picture on their profile, say? No. But my feelings are hurt. I'm not sure what bothers me more the fact that they said it, or the fact that I'm bothered by it.

A little help from your friends

Get excited...NoBridget is blogging again (read: is single again and actively trying to date)!

I was out to dinner with friends on Friday night: one other single, two married. The other single-woman shared a great story about meeting a guy she's really excited about. She had started online dating a few months back and was feeling really discouraged and had gotten to a place where she was accepting of the possibility of a relationship just not being in the cards for her. Some close friends of hers continue(d) to encourage her to date and try to meet someone. In fact, one of the friends suggested that she sign-on to the online profile and do some searches for my friend and update her profile a bit. Long story short: the friend found a great match for my friend, they met and really hit it off!

Of course, I was inspired by this story for two reasons: 1. I do think that friends sometimes know you better than you know yourself; and 2. It inspired me to log back into dating websites. However, after looking at what's available I'm thinking maybe I need a friend to do it for me. Takers?

Max Ehrmann Didn't Intend to Write Pickup Lines

Some guy sent me the entire text of the Desiderata on Ye Olde Dating Wesbite. That was it. Nothing else.

And what the fuck is that supposed to mean, exactly?

Baggage Magnet

Attention, Men of the World!

Are you carrying around so much emotional baggage, you'd get charged hundreds in fees by any airline? Do you have a hunchback from the sheer weight of all of the burden you're toting? For bonus points, do you have some kind of issues with your mother, or maybe a substance abuse problem?

If that sounds like you, try dating ME! Seriously! Lots of others like you have done so in the past and been quite happy about it, at least for a little while. The results are best if you 1) Keep your issues a secret or 2) Totally downplay their severity. Because once I realize the codependent mess we're about to be in, I'll probably wise up. But who knows, you might get lucky.

The universe, while spending lots of time sending the Queen some seriously effed-up e-mails, has also been working really hard to send me emotionally unavailable people. Several. In a row. And one question I have is: if you're in no shape to date, why are you on a dating website?

Fair question, I think.

Appropriations

Recently the Queen and I enjoyed a night on the town with my good friend T and his fairly-new girlfriend A. I've met A before and I think she's really cool. But what I hadn't notcied before were some subtle changes in T's wardrobe that were very clearly her influence- and frankly, the fact that we met them at a tiny bar to watch an unknown band is also very NOT T.

It got me thinking about when people get into relationships and they appropriate things from the other person- habits, lifestyles, wardrobe, preferences in music and TV and movies. I had a friend who, when she started dating her last boyfriend, suddenly loved punk bands and became a vegetarian. Neither of these were harmful to her, but I thought it was odd for her to make a change like giving up meat just because her boyfriend did.

I thought about myself and what I may have appropriated from people I've dated. Some things were only for the duration of the relationship, while others were things that I truly grew to like on my own (hello, Top Chef!).

What do you think, readers? What things have you picked up, or have people picked up from you? Have you ever made a drastic change because it made you match a partner's preferences? Have you ever been concerned when you've seen a friend do the same?

Where's the Poop, Robin?

Regular readers will know that I'm a big fan of How I Met Your Mother, and that I've found many instances where plot points on that show mirror my dating experiences.

Last week, Robin tried to casually tell the group that she'd seen her ex, a newscaster, on his new show, and that she turned the TV off and realized she was over him. Lily knew better, and asked, "Where's the poop, Robin?" She explained that she'd had a dog as a child who would make the same face Robin was making, and it always meant he'd pooped somewhere in the house. Robin then had to admit that she'd actually watched the whole show, gotten drunk, and called her ex.

Apparently I am as bad at hiding things as my favorite fictional Canadian. To wit:

Queen of Spades: So, how did the date go last night?
CarrieLives: Oh, really well. He was nice, and we had a really good time.
Queen of Spades: Did you kiiisss him? (said in her best elementary-school teasing tone)
CarrieLives: Yes, yes I did.
Queen of Spades: Anything else?
Carrie Lives: ...
Queen of Spades: I KNEW it!

What can I say? I have a terrible poker face and zero willpower. So...there's that.