Taking the Low Road, and a To-Do List

Thursday, July 29, 2010

I've been dating for a long time now. Since I was fourteen, with about 5-6 years off when I was in one relationship or another. So I've got about ten years of experience to draw from. But for some reason I'm still a little surprised when a guy professes to be interested, talks about wanting to go out again, and then disappears.

I'm not talking about the ones where you both aren't interested and you sort of vaguely avoid the subject or make halfhearted attempts at saying things like "So I'll call you" and then no one does. I mean when you've had several dates, he says, "We definitely need to go out again, let's plan something for next week" and then he falls off the grid faster than if Witness Protection had sent him to Idaho.

I guess I continue to be surprised because I find that sort of thing to be counterproductive and kind of cowardly, and I am nothing if not efficient and straightforward. And normally, even though I don't get it, I usually take the high road and take the hint. No sense spending energy on a person like that.

But...Deja Vu Guy and I had a great date last week, and it ended with him saying we should definitely get together again. When I mentioned that my schedule was a little iffy, he said, "Give me a call when you know what nights you're free." And I did. And that was five days ago. And frankly, given the backstory on this one, I'm a shade annoyed. Not to mention a man of his age should know better.

So I took the low road for a change and sent this e-mail today:

So I'm curious...you couldn't remember why you never called me five years ago. What's the reason this time?

I'm aware of a few things here- namely that 1. I may not get an answer; 2. I may get an answer I really don't like; 3. This probably makes me look kind of bitchy; and 4. Saying this won't change anything. I'm OK with that. For some reason, it just felt good to speak up and say "Hey, this is kind of silly, why not just tell me you're not interested?" rather than slinking away so as not to "bother" anyone.

Since that act, however small, was a stretch for me, I thought this list (found via FunkyBrownChick) was interesting. Maybe this counts as #10? Eh...probably not. :)

4 comments:

NoBridget said...

Well, you did what I would've done. Whether or not that makes us bitches, I don't know. :)

On a better note, I've completed 25 things on that list!

CarrieLives said...

I'm at 22 myself. Not too shabby.

Megan said...

I'm at 27! Uh, but I've never been to a movie by myself though...

Caleb said...

If you need any help with #13, let me know.

Caleb

PS while I'm prone to thinking a woman's actions are bitchy or crazy, I think you're okay with that one. No harm done