If you loved me you would

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I love my friends. I love them and they love me, but sometimes I wish they would focus on their own lives and not everyone else's, or at least not mine. I've been telling people the former boy and I have been talking again. It's been a little jarring when I get: "F him! You better not get back together with him!" I realize the people who say this truly care about me and do not want me to get hurt. I also realize that we did not end things well. The dramatic way it ended is in this blog for the world to see. Believe me, I have not forgotten.

However, when the hell did I say I was going to get back together with him? Would I hear him out? Yes. Do I miss him? Yes. Do I believe that people can make things work the 2nd time around? Yes. Am I going to drive to his house tonight and tell him how sorry I am and jump in the sack? HELL NO. Frankly, the assumption that I would is insulting.

Here is a snippet from a recent conversation:

Me: I heard from XXX btw.

Friend: WTF. Fuck him. Did you tell him to fuck off?

Me: Ummm, no. I was civil.

Friend: You better not take him back!

Me: Ummm, what? That didn't come up.

Friend: Well would you, cause I would be disappointed if you did.

Me: Ummm, I would be open to hearing what he had to say about it, but I certainly am not going go back to something if it's still the same way it was.

Friend: I realize you didn't ask for the advice, but...

Me: Please don't lecture me

Friend: (insert 5 minute monologue here about what an ass he is and how great I am except for the part where I'm a stupid bitch if I take him back)

Me: I appreciate your concern, but I can make my own decisions and I would think you would support me regardless.

Friend: Well, I would. I just think it's the wrong decision to make.

Me: Yeah, that just doesn't sound very supportive to me.

Friend: Well wtf, he was a jerk.

Me: (I have completely shut down at this point and am just mumbling shit like "well we'll see", "whatever", "uhhuh")

This friend has called me every day since just to "check on me." *sigh* To be fair, most of my friends have had nothing to say about it other than Oh? What's up with that?

And then we have the conversation with my mother about it:

Mom: Well, would you dump his ass if nothing has changed?

Me: Of course.

Mom: Is he good in bed?

Me: Of course.

Mom: Then what the hell do you care what your friends think? It's your life.

I heart my Mom.

2 comments:

Megan said...

I heart your mom as well. That's excellent advice.

Heather Helene said...

Your mom is right. And after many many years of juvenile friendships, I finally have friends in my life that mimic a similar stance as your mothers. Bless your mom. Smart woman.