Why do men think I'm a dominatrix?

I do love Betty Page...

"How are you doing? My name is *****, and I am writing you because I would like to find someone who might have some interest in having a servant. I am interested in pursuing this arrangement on a long term 2 or 3 time a week basis, and I promise that you will not regret it if you give me a chance.

I am honestly looking for a someone like yourself who might be interested in having someone like me who would like nothing more than to cook, clean, do dishes, laundry, chores, run errands, or even give manicures and pedicures. I am pretty handy to have around the house, I can fix things pretty well and am not bad at organization either.

This is not about sex in any way, and I have had this arrangement in the past and I feel like it has worked out pretty well for those who have been willing to take advantage of it. And just to stress this... This is completely legit and I am 100% serious. I could be extremely useful to you if you were just willing to consider it.

Please think about it, and please know that just being able to talk to you would be a privilege in my book."

My first thought was, "That would be so useful!"

My second thought, "Ah, he can write in full sentences!"

Which was then followed by..."Why do I keep getting messages like this?!"

Perhaps I should pursue a new career plan?

Fellow bloggers, you know me...What's the deal?