There's an expression, "In order to make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs." Plenty of people have waxed sentimental about the necessity of destruction as part of creation, of wiping the slate clean to start over properly.
Well, I am on my way to a delicious omelet this week. Western, perhaps?
Part of this was motivated by a recent "person" doing something so incredibly insulting and selfish that it made me want to go to his apartment (with which I am quite familiar, having spent many nights there, no matter what he told his new girlfriend, THANKYOUVERYMUCH) and punch him in his stupid lying face. But because I like my freedom and I don't really believe in actual violence, I refrained. Instead, I did some deleting. Any connections to him online? DELETED. His phone number? Oh, the joy in seeing the question "Delete XXXXX?" on my phone. YES.
But I also got to thinking about some other people in my life, with whom I had relationships that were not so contentious and dysfunctional, but certainly were a bit complicated. And somehow, my fiery rage motivated me to look at those situations and be more honest about them. The results? I've destroyed some safety nets. I deleted the parts of those relationships that were making things complicated for me (in one case) or for him (in the other case).
And then I deleted myself from online dating completely.
I'll go back eventually, but for now I am not in the right head space for any of it. While this means I'll have nothing to write about for a while, I hope it also means that I can focus on rebuilding.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
2 comments:
As an avid blog-stalker, I read posts that sound like this a lot. Usually one big bad experience or a collection of unsuccessful dates, and people just "quit the online thing."
I always have two thoughts:
1. Most of the complications of situations are avoidable with a bit more due diligence, so quit dating losers.
2. Why not just keep a profile up, but only respond to really cute/awesome guys? Sure, this means you might not go on dates as often, but who cares? It doesn't cost you anything to leave your profile up except the time it takes to read through messages from dewshbags.
My offer to you of screening dates for losers is still open. I'm not saying that you, personally, suck at this. Just that women don't seem to be as objective when evaluating a potential guy.
Case in point: I have 2 friends now that send me their text/email correspondence to read before they agree to meet someone. It's frightening some of the guys that these girls actually thought might be okay. I've stopped half of the dates automatically just be saying that, "if you are wondering 'is he a creeper?' then the answer is no date."
One guy, after several emails and talks about meeting up, wanted to meet super late one night (nothing was open anyway) and said she "looked so beautiful in the pic" that "would she mind if he snuck in a kiss."
She was literally considering meeting him still.
Sigh.
You've already labeled me as a [asshole, douche, womanizer, etc.] so why not put my talents to use for good?
Think about it!
Caleb
Most of this isn't even about my online experience. it's actually about stuff that was happening in real life, and how it was making me feel. And I've decided to give myself a break, and part of that was removing myself from the online scene for a while too.
This is 100% about where my head is, and not about what was going on online.
Post a Comment