Orange Juice

Online dating feels like shopping to me. Looking for the best deal in a relationship, comparing brands of t-shirts in photos and prices of favored vacations, reading the carefully detailed ingredients of a "perfect date," I have come to the conclusion that more choices actually doth not a informed decision make. In fact, too many choices just wears upon your sanity and ability to actually make clear decisions. Market saturation by mid-twenties to thirties men looking to get out of the "bar scene" and who describe themselves as "easy-going" has left me completely unable to make a decision and overly wary of taking the next step for fear of a missed opportunity with perhaps a better, Consumer Report rated, friend-approved option.

It's like orange juice. With options like pulp or no pulp, organic or regular, fortified with calcium or not, from concentrate or 100% juice, mixed with other juices or straight, making a decision is nearly impossible for me. I'd like to be able to march right up to the juice section and select with great aplomb the no-pulp-organic-fortified-100% juice-mixed with peach option. But wait, it's mixed with pineapple, an addition which makes my tongue violently itch. My second selection has heavy pulp and a frothy aftertaste designed for geriatrics and toddlers. Should I compromise on the no pulp-from-concentrate just because it's on special? I thought I knew what I wanted until I was presented with so many choices and now in the face of compromise, I'm no longer certain what adaptations to my original idea I am willing to accept. Pineapple is a deal breaker in juice, but is pulp? Using "U" for "you" and seriously writing "PaRtYiNg LikE A RoCkStAr" when you are in your mid-thirties are definitely not what I am looking for, but how do I really feel about the uber-runner, organic eating, engineer who enjoys sport fishing?

The only way to make a choice when presented with far too many options is to go into a situation already having a predetermined idea of what you want so that you may maximize your options. A competitive and occasionally back-stabbing species, it is also hard not to compare your acquisitions to another's selection or regret impromptu purchases (ahem, dates). When presented with fewer options, we are more inclined to make a definitive choice. In the face of hundreds of fairly attractive, semi-successful and generaly adventurous men, however, I have come to the conclusion that browsing just isn't for me. I know what I want in some sense, someone who is as crazy and eccentric as I am with a flair for fashion and a love of snorty dogs, but sifting through the countless options of rock-climbing tow truck drivers and beer-snob finance guys has finally gotten to me. (And, I haven't even touched on the dismal odds of finding my eccentric, fashionable, squish-faced dog loving man who has a sudden urge to date a busty opera singer who is into lobster trivia, whiny folk music and Buddhist psychology...though I may now add that to my profile.)

I guess I need to figure out what I am really looking for before I make a purchase, so to say. To peruse with a purpose instead of just aimlessly browsing, waiting for a deal to just jump out at me. For now, I'm going to just enjoy this almost right glass of orange juice while I wait for my my almost right guy to write me back.

Queen of Spades