Here We Go Again

After Mr. Patient turned into the former boy and flaming a**, I quietly decided to go on strike. Initially, I updated my online dating profile and was ready to forge ahead without giving it a second thought. Then, I was being cyber-stalked (long story) which lead to some very bitter and hateful email exchanges. I realized I was really very sad and angry about the whole thing. And the strike began.

The first two weeks I let myself stay angry. I had to, if I didn't I was going to be sad and pathetic. The second two weeks I left the country. I wish I could say it was a spontaneous break-up related thing, but it had already been planned. And now I'm ready. I'm neither sad, nor angry, but also not indifferent. I would say more annoyed and disappointed than anything. More about his behavior, post-breakup, than the actual ending of things. If you only knew how many times I have said "If I only knew..." over the last month. The silver lining in all of it is; now I know that I do want to be in a grown-up relationship and I'm not as scared of that as I have been in the past. So I'm not giving up, and the strike is over.

There are currently four potentials in the dating queue. All have stated they would like to get together. One is incredibly grammatically-challenged, I'm not sure if the OCD-tendencies in me can handle that, but he's super tall and that always gets a first date. The shoulders are brushed off and away we go...

The Problem of Being on Strike

A few weeks ago I decided to go on strike. I'd had two dating experiences in June that were, suffice it to say, pretty terrible. One ended with the guy telling me I was crazy, had whored myself out for free drinks (apparently engaging in conversation is now "whoring", since that was all we did), and also that he "preferred a girl who is in better shape" than me. Lulz. The other got rather pissed when I agreed with his assertion that things weren't going anywhere. How dare I? I should have cried and begged him for one more date so I could prove I'm worth it. At least, that's what he thought. More lulz.

So I came to the conclusion that a break was in order. In a lot of ways it has been good, just not having to think about dating. But it's tough to be on strike when you're naturally inclined to scope. And so I find myself still looking all the time, starting with the left hand. Because it's where I look first. Yeah, I know. Nuts. And not always reliable. But important, ladies, important.

I guess right now, sadly, being on strike doesn't always feel like I think it should- like a conscious decision I've made. It feels more like I have no prospects and I'm on strike by default. Oh, except for my self-deletion from a certain dating website- in that way I've actively removed myself from the pool. But mostly I wonder- if I were asked out by someone during the next month or so, would I say yes? Or turn them down and really give myself time to relax, get away from dating for a bit, and refocus?

One thing is for sure- if the strike goes on for too long my entries will be crazy boring. Kind of like the "This column socks" incident on SATC. Yeah...being on strike kinda socks too.