I'm Smitten. Crap.

Oh dearest readers, I think I'm in trouble. Date #2 with T&A guy last night. Dinner and a comedy show. He introduced me to a few friends, they seemed really nice. And like last time-he is super easy to talk to and fun/easy to be around. So the end of the night comes around and it's a little awkward. He made a joke about how he's scarred for life about some girl in high school that he made a move on and she rejected him. Of course I get stupid at this point and don't know what to say or do. I said something completely silly about him not making me initiate the next date like I did this one, then we hugged goodbye.

I walked into my house thinking that I was quite possibly the most awkward 36 year-old in the universe and I was going to be single forever. Once again feeling confused: I thought he was interested, but didn't make a move blah, blah, self-esteem, blah, body image, blah. About 45 minutes later, while unable to get to sleep IT happened, I got the following text: Hey sleepyhead, can you read this? I want to see you again. Sooner than two weeks. I'm an easy sell, clearly.

There have been a few more emails and texts today, that are not the least bit "hard to read" and he happens to think that he is also in "trouble," but I'll keep them to myself (they are also not the least bit in the "sexting" category, you pervs.) So, yeah, I'm smitten and nervous as all get out. I'll save the nerves for another blog...I'm just going to enjoy the feeling for today.

xxNB

Three's a Crowd

In a moment of procrastination I just logged into a dating website I use, you know, just to see if anything needed my attention. As it happened, I had a new message. I was a little confused when I went to my inbox and the photo next to the subject line was of a woman. And then I started reading and, well, it got interesting.

Because, you see, it was from a woman- who was writing on behalf of herself and her male partner.

We are a fun, open-minded, professional couple (also safe, sane, D/D free, exclusive) who appreciate drama-free fun....We'd like to exchange e-mails, maybe chat over instant messenger, and if the chemistry is right, meet for a drink (after voice verifying by phone, of course) and take it from there. If you like what you're reading and seeing, drop an e-mail back and tell us a little more about you.

Um...wow. I'm not sure what I think about that right now, except that I'm surprised. And I guess slightly flattered? I'm not necessarily interested in that sort of thing, but to each their own, right? And it was certainly an interesting surprise on an otherwise mundane afternoon.

Shampoo, Rinse, Repeat

I have had a revelation. One brought on by procrastination and snow-dreaming, but a revelation nonetheless.

I am totally boring.

Oh, OK, not TOTALLY. I mean, some people actually think I'm kind of funny (you know, like my mom). But I have realized I have a pattern. it goes approximately like this:

Phase 1: Meet and date a guy I find very attractive, and marvel at our great and nearly instant chemistry.

Phase 2: Guy falls off face of planet; I get bummed. Am slightly buoyed by offer of date with another guy.

Phase 3: Go on date with new guy, who is Very Nice. Notice that I am not very attracted to him, but figure I'll keep trying till I'm sure, because he is Very Nice, after all.

Phase 4: Begin to feel exhausted from trying so hard to become magically attracted to Very Nice guy. Stop seeing him.

Phase 5: Whine about having no dates; eat popcorn in gratuitous quantities.

I have some thinking to do about my pattern, of course. Especially since I'm somewhere around Phase 3 right now (which, in South Park world, is "Profit"- if only that were the case here, am I right?). I am hoping I can break the pattern this time, while simultaneously fearing that in about three weeks I'll throw my hands up in frustration and go back to dating Orville Redenbacher until Phase 1 starts again.

Hard to Read?

Good news: I'm back from my first date with the T&A guy. I actually really enjoyed myself. I like him. I like him not only because he's a T&A guy, but because he's funny, laid back and talks A LOT (I don't talk a lot, it makes for good balance and no awkward silences).

Bad news: Two things, actually...I still hate dating. I prefer the comfort of a relationship. I know this is partly my fault. I would rather go on 100 job interviews vs. one first date. I know I'm good at my job and I can "sell" myself as an employee. However, I have such a hard time selling myself as a person/mate. So silly, I know. I know there is nothing wrong with me, but my head takes over, then the stomach follows suit and I make myself crazy. Typically, once I get there and the date begins, I'm fine...it's the build up and the thoughts after that make me feel like I'm in high school again.

The other bit of bad news, which is kind of good news insight-wise-he was hard to read. That is feedback that I get, a lot. I now get it and I am a bit more understanding of how frustrating that is. I honestly have no idea if he enjoyed himself. I could not read him at all. I mean, he was pleasant, laughed, talked, asked questions...but as far as weather or not he wants to see me again-I have no clue. Usually I have a pretty good idea. I'm trying not to over-analyze too much. Time to go meditate...

In Which I Pray for the Floor to Open Up and Swallow Me

Last night I had a date. A first date. What seemed like approximately the 867th first date I've been on. It's becoming quite the habit.

It was going pretty well, actually. We were having a good time talking, an easy time keeping the conversation going...and then it happened. I, the woman who is not prone to spitting while talking, manages to lob the teeniest bit of saliva DIRECTLY ONTO HIS FOREHEAD.

I was horrified. What should I do? Do I acknowledge it, or pretend I didn't notice? For whatever reason my instincts were screaming "JUST KEEP TALKING!" so I did. He sort of casually wiped it off...and then kept touching the same spot for the next five minutes or so, repeatedly. OH, THE HUMILIATION. And of course all I could think of was this episode of Sex and the City, and how in a later scene poor Miranda is shown reading in bed, hours later, still wiping her face with a tissue over and over. (Warning, link is VERY NSFW)

Luckily he seemed not to really care. If we go out again I'll be trying my best to control my saliva.

I'm actually looking forward to a date

I am openly not a fan of dating. I find it a necessary means to an end. But, friends, remember this guy? I like to call him T&A guy. He never responded to my wink back then. However, while getting acquainted with a new site he winked at me. I would recognize that paragraph anywhere. The first phone call is in the books and I must say: He is very funny and has a great voice. The first date is Sunday. I'm giddy for a few reasons: I haven't had a date since date #2 with the Port Prince; he made me laugh more than once today; and it's the first time in a while that I have been EXCITED about a date. I'm not getting my hopes up...okay fine, I kinda am.