Getting to know me, true dating style.

Name: No Bridget (as in "I'm no Bridget Jones")

Stats: 36 year-old that "loves to laugh, loves to sing...loves the loving things."

Best date: The aquarium surprise. Back in the day, he so desperately wanted to prove to me that he was so in love with me that he created a whole surprise date for me.

Worst date: Hands down-Hold it Touch it guy. He pulled his pants down and grabbed my hand, in true high school fashion, and begged me to hold it and touch it "just for a minute."

Longest relationship: 5 years on and off with 2 solid "on" years.

Ultimate unrequited love (codename if so desired): The first unrequited experience with the Skater in the 8th grade. The first cut is the deepest.

Evil ex of note (codename unless you want everyone to know he's evil): I enjoy referring to him as "he who shall not be named" although I end up naming him a lot. Short version: with me, got someone pregnant, left me to be with her, left her, left me 2 years later, got her pregnant again and the story continues...

Most hated dating advice: "He's out there somewhere. Don't worry." Listen, my eggs are turning to effing dust here! (Although, I have to give props to Queen of Hearts here-my love also gets loud, dealing is necessary).

Tackiest pick-up line used (on you or by you, we won't tell): "Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Walter?" (to me).

Why I choose to blog about the cruel world of dating: Because "laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."

xx NB

Why, you ask?

Someone said earlier: "How'd you get here? To the point that you are blogging about your dating life?" I wish I knew! I mean, the short version is-I've spent the better part of 6 years with my heart, head and body attached to someone and wasn't able to let him go. Now, it's really just either my heart, head or body attached to him at any given time-progress. Frankly, that relationship may have screwed with my head and blogging will be as much therapeutic as funny. Honestly, the prospects haven't seemed great lately.

I've been "dating" since I was 16, that gives me 20 years of experience! And boy do I have stories to share. I've been cheated on; I've cheated. I've walked away completely; I haven't been able to let go. I've been the "other woman" more often than I'd like to admit. I've lived with the other woman. I've done online dating, blind dates, fix-ups, dated friends. I've dated a gay guy. I've had my heart broken, and of course broke at least one.

I had a plan-married at 24, kids by 25 blah blah. At some point I realized that wasn't realistic and was okay with not holding to that. I'm first to say that if I married the person I was with when I came up with that plan-I'd be divorced, living far from my family, with 5 kids in a trailer. It's funny that I edited that plan with "him" to 34 and 35. I digress...while I realized it was not realistic, did I ever think that at 36 I would be single with no prospects?? God NO! Therefore, I'm a bitter bitch.

My dating life has been a lesson in people watching at its best (note: excuse the generalizations, here. Maybe replace men with "the men i've met"). Men prefer younger women, because they also want kids. Men also want barbie dolls. They don't exist, gentlemen, and frankly you are missing out on some wonderful opportunities waiting for someone that "looks good." Men don't like women that have an opinion. Men are stupid (and yes, women are crazy). In college we had a sign above the door: "All men are assholes. Just when you forget, they remind you." It hasn't been proven wrong, yet. Thankfully, this will be my way of laughing at this crazy dating world.

It should also be noted-I hate dating! I hate the process of getting to know someone in a "dating" sense. I love meeting and getting to know new people. I HATE getting to know new "potential life partners." It's hard, it takes a while and I'm impatient. I feel judged and that I'm judging!

I'm also very well aware that I have contributed to my current life situation, but that's what therapy is for-this blog is for bitching about "them." My goal-to laugh, make others laugh and maybe even get rid of the bitter bitch attitude.

xx
NB