Because I never was that good at gambling...

I'm not much of a risk-taker. I really never have been...as a first-born, I was sort of destined to be a rule-follower from birth. This isn't to say I've never broken the rules- I've done my share of that. It's just that I'm more inclined to do things that are low-risk, and I'm still secretly terrified of getting caught doing something I shouldn't be doing, even as an adult.

As a result, dating has never been something I've really enjoyed...it's inherently risky, and often you end up putting in a lot of effort and getting a pretty low return. It's an activity that sort of requires me to be a bit of a split personality- overly cautious, to avoid getting too invested, and at least somewhat optimistic and willing to give people a chance.

I realized recently that I've been dating, in some way, for fifteen years now. It's been an experience, to say the least...two serious relationships, plenty of mishaps. I am by no means an expert- in fact, I hope that writing about all of it will give me a chance to reflect on some of it and think about what I want in the future. I'm also hoping that putting some of it down "on paper", as it were, can at least be entertaining to others.

And if nothing else, I can get a laugh out of it. Because sometimes that's all you can do.