A lot of people responded very positively to my last post, telling me how it wasn't crazy at all, and that they were just sure my high school crush would be single, available, still cute, and ready to marry me within six months. Well, ok, I'm exaggerating a bit, but let's say a lot of folks were very optimistic about the situation. I, as a realist, believe they are suffering from an affliction I like to call "Rom-Com Disease". It's a close relative of Love Song Syndrome, which is the condition that makes me kind of like that song "Love Story" by Taylor Swift, no matter how much I try not to. But I digress.Rom-Com Disease is not merely a result of watching too many Romantic Comedies. I mean, hey, even I like the occasional feel-good flick. No, the telltale symptom is when you start ACTUALLY BELIEVING that this stuff happens in real life. Frequently. I'll give you that rarely, a seemingly impossible situation does work out, but it's nowhere near as common as Rom-Com Land would have us believe.
Inhabitants of Rom-Com land know the following to be true:
1. If you are the less attractive/less interesting/slightly frumpy/brunette sister, don't worry. Some dashing young man will notice how you're actually way cooler than that blonde bimbo of a sister you have, and he'll fall madly in love with you.
2. Your best guy friend, who has had every opportunity to date you for the past fifteen years and hasn't taken a single one of them, is madly in love with you. Really he is. So just keep eschewing all other relationship opportunities and keep waiting for him.
3. If you have a crush on a guy and he's not noticing you, DON'T TELL HIM. Just become his personal slave/shoulder to cry on, and eventually he'll figure out how great you are.
4. If you hate the guy at the beginning of the movie and you're complete opposites, you'll be engaged by the end.
5. A happy ending is inevitable, even if you lie, cheat, steal, or any of the above. The guy in question will forgive your transgressions because he's just so in love with you, he melts when he sees your lovely smile and thinks, "I should totally dump her for that but...AWWWW!"
Of course there are more truisms of the Rom-Com...feel free to suggest more in the comments. As for me...well, I'll be pleasantly surprised if things do work out that way, but I know better than to assume it will happen. I guess I envision dating to be a bit more Shakespearean...you've gotta get past the conflict in Act Two before you can get resolution in Act Three, and the last act ain't always pretty.
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1 comments:
1. It takes a ball gown to make true love a realization. Only with the addition of tulle and crepe can a man realize he has indeed always been in love with his until now platonic female counterpart.
2. Fun only for one! One character is a stick-in-the-mud and the other one is wild and crazy. Two crazies who want to do the horizontal tango for life? Hells no!
3. Grand romantic gestures always come at the right time. It’s never awkwardly too late for a grand speech or declaration of love. Move on? Nah.
4. Sheets come in the handy L-shaped pattern so that his nether regions can be covered up while she is safely covered up to the armpits.
5. Heroine will read out every word aloud while typing or writing. This is endearing in movies and slightly crazy in real life. (Says the person who talks to herself in her office all the time.)
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